Domestic violence affects hundreds of people Valley-wide. Dr. Maria Garay is CEO of Phoenix’s Sojourner Center. She says this isn’t just a family issue.
“Your taxes are going to pay for the police department, your taxes are going to the hospital, your taxes are going to the child welfare system where children are removed,” she said. “If you have a business, your workforce is impacted by it – lots of absenteeism.”
Garay says even children are affected.
“They tend to be a lot more withdrawn,” she said. “They can be more aggressive. It’s hard for them to learn because their little minds are so preoccupied with what’s going on at home.”
October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
Domestic violence affects teens, too. Have your teen (or a loved one) take this relationship quiz to see if they’re in an abusive relationship:
1. Do you feel afraid to speak your mind, express how you feel or ask for something you need?
2. Does your partner tell you are “stupid”, “crazy”, or “inadequate” when you disagree?
3. Does your partner make fun of your ideas or opinions?
4. Is your partner bossy and/or try to control every detail in your relationship?
5. Is your partner extremely demanding and jealous?
6. Do you often feel guilty and second-guess your choices in friends, social activities, jobs, etc. because of your partner’s negative comments about these choices?
7. Are you afraid of your partner’s temper, feel like you walk on eggshells, and/or are constantly monitoring what you say and do as an attempt to avoid making him/her angry?
8. Do you find yourself making excuses for your partner and justifying his/her actions to others?
9. Do you feel more “free” to be yourself when he/she isn’t around?
10. Does your partner throw or break things when angry?
11. Does your partner try to control where you go and what you do?
12. Does your partner pressure you to engage in sexual activities that you are uncomfortable with and put you down if you refuse?
13. Does your partner threaten to kill or hurt him/herself if you have a differing opinion, try to end the relationship, or do something they disapprove of?
14. Does your partner try to make you feel guilty for having a “life” (i.e. friends, interests) apart from the relationship?
15. Does your partner criticize your family and friends and ask you to stop seeing them?
16. Do you feel that you have changed, lost touch with who you are, or become someone else in order to be with your partner?
17. Have your friends or family expressed concern about your relationship and/or your well-being?
18. Does your partner know how to make you feel bad (i.e., what buttons to push) and use it often to hurt you?
19. Have you lost touch with your friends, and only hang out with your partner’s friends?
20. Does your partner try to control you with anger and guilt, or lash out when you don’t do exactly what he or she wants?
21. Has your partner ever hit, slapped, punched, shoved, grabbed or shook you?
22. Has your partner ever threatened to hurt you, take important things away, or leave you?
23. Has your partner ever called you names, put you down, insulted you, and/or embarrassed you in front of others?
24. Do you feel like you never get anywhere when you try to communicate?
25. Do you spend large amounts of time preoccupied with what you’ve said or how it’s interpreted?
If you answered “yes” to 3 or more questions, your relationship could be abusive.